i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
