My nipple is on Facebook.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
