Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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