remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
