i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
