She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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