Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
