Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
