so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
