I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
