Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
