This is not my ceiling
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
