He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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