Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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