she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
