Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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