haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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