I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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