he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
