So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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