yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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