This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
