Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
