so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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