Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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