youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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