I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
