So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
