so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
