Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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