it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
