shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I need to stop coming to work sober
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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