Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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