You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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