1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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