Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
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