I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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