Texts From Last Night

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  (954): View more from Florida

  Your an asshole

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  Actually, it's "you're an asshole"

  (954): View more from Florida

  My point exactly

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  (954): Your an asshole (1-954): Actually, it's "you're an asshole" (954): My point exactly http://tfl.nu/txzi
  Replies (47) Good night (3589) Bad night (795)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.

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  (518): Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion. http://tfl.nu/ju2t
  Replies (49) Good night (2892) Bad night (616)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.

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  (360): She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt. http://tfl.nu/1my8
  Replies (20) Good night (1443) Bad night (2916)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.

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  (610): My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing. http://tfl.nu/h8rn
  Replies (49) Good night (1210) Bad night (5571)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work

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  (313): These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work http://tfl.nu/lrs5
  Replies (13) Good night (5152) Bad night (669)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won

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  (908): Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won http://tfl.nu/nhsb
  Replies (208) Good night (2277) Bad night (4297)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.

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  (402): next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first. http://tfl.nu/nkj3
  Replies (6) Good night (4758) Bad night (998)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.

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  (215): We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay. http://tfl.nu/xg35
  Replies (14) Good night (3169) Bad night (1681)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.

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  (740): I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago. http://tfl.nu/bvjh
  Replies (5) Good night (3372) Bad night (1046)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.

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  (306): We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit. http://tfl.nu/ure1
  Replies (1) Good night (655) Bad night (1010)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.

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  (304): The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke. http://tfl.nu/dnme
  Replies (9) Good night (2152) Bad night (538)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?

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  (404): Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again? http://tfl.nu/8hv0
  Replies (7) Good night (1960) Bad night (726)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.

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  (215): No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there. http://tfl.nu/8rlf
  Replies (8) Good night (971) Bad night (2942)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!

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  (940): Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?! http://tfl.nu/l6ig
  Replies (6) Good night (405) Bad night (1209)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.

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  (480): The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced. http://tfl.nu/7s4x
  Replies (3) Good night (712) Bad night (281)

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