Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
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started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
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i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies