i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
