so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.