Texts From Last Night

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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.

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  (931): she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by. http://tfl.nu/75ga
  Replies (14) Good night (5258) Bad night (1128)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.

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  (603): you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics. http://tfl.nu/re5j
  Replies (21) Good night (8312) Bad night (807)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.

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  (704): I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better. http://tfl.nu/5ydt
  Replies (15) Good night (3217) Bad night (799)
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  (408): View more from California

  You drunk yet?

  (925): View more from California

  Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.

  (408): View more from California

  Cant make any promises.

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  (408): You drunk yet? (925): Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them. (408): Cant make any promises. http://tfl.nu/jm9i
  Replies (9) Good night (4867) Bad night (717)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?

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  (914): Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later? http://tfl.nu/xxzo
  Replies (20) Good night (4751) Bad night (987)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"

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  (210): Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!" http://tfl.nu/xp9i
  Replies (19) Good night (5979) Bad night (1322)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.

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  (703): There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse. http://tfl.nu/1du4
  Replies (27) Good night (3569) Bad night (1226)
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  (213): View more from California

  If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out

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  (213): If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out http://tfl.nu/pkwm
  Replies (3) Good night (1428) Bad night (622)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.

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  (941): Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants. http://tfl.nu/rame
  Replies (31) Good night (1357) Bad night (557)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.

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  (425): You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows. http://tfl.nu/kzgw
  Replies (1) Good night (932) Bad night (402)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly

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  (443): Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly (443): Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly http://tfl.nu/ja6d
  Replies (0) Good night (526) Bad night (294)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge

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  (907): Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge http://tfl.nu/scnb
  Replies (2) Good night (810) Bad night (443)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater

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  (519): Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater http://tfl.nu/zmy8
  Replies (3) Good night (929) Bad night (329)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?

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  (910): I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know? http://tfl.nu/6v52
  Replies (0) Good night (578) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.

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  (919): Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan. http://tfl.nu/8jcs
  Replies (1) Good night (397) Bad night (228)

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