She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
