But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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