Sponge bath it is.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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