I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We got so high we made milksteak
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
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