she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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