i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
