i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
