no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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