I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
