If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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