Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize