i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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