you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
