Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
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Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
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A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.