I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.