his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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