first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
