You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
