Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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