Your dad touched me again.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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