his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
