I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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