Her vagina should come with caution tape.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
