I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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