LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize