were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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