In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
