Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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