WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
